I’m not the one to sit still and listen to good. Although I’d rather talk on the phone and it’s much better for me, talking to me about your problems is one thing I can handle either way. But I still like the phone better, LOL! It seems like since I’m getting older and my friends as well, we tend to drift apart. I’ve  had lots of best friends who I can still call best friends today, but will they say the same about me? I’ve moved on and so have they. We don’t talk as much anymore. I think it’s also because we don’t live close to each other anymore and we can’t see each other like we want. I’d love to learn more about my friends and what’s been going on with them, but a lot of them don’t even get online anymore and when they do, they hide on the IM things.
I’ve even deleted them because I felt like they didn’t want to talk to me or I felt like they aren’t there for me anymore. A few of my friends are still the same and have gotten married and moved on, but when you called each other best friends, don’t that last forever? Or am I just different?

I don’t know but I with we could go back in times..

Yes, you see that right. I hate living where I do. I was so mad this morning because of a letter I got in the mail. They want me to pay $75.00 for a small hole in the wall which a golf ball couldn’t fit in. WTH? The hole was there before I moved here. You can tell it was already fixed once. I’m not paying $75.00 for that little ass hole. THEN, They want to charge me $87.00 to replace a damn door? HUH? I have 30 days to pay for I’m getting kicked out. OH NO! I called this morning to talk to my landlords boss. She hasn’t called me back yet but I sure can’t wait until she does. I have  A LOT to tell her.

They should replace the tile flooring while there at it. No one wants to live in a place with old crap.

I have heard that the jobs in different country’s don’t pay as well as ours. For one, jobs in finance is one place where they make SOME good money. England has free health care and free collage. I told my mother we should pack up and move there. England is one place I do want to visit. One problem though, I’d never fly. Yes, it’s safer then cars, but lately? I don’t even want to think about flying. I’d cry the whole way to where I was going. I don’t even like going into high places. I’ve never liked it.

You know it’s hard for me to keep my mouth shut when I really want to say something. I mean I don’t want to hurt anyone, but sometimes when you keep how you really feel inside for so long, it keeps you worried and stressed. I would rather tell that person how I really feel then to keep it inside. I’ve kept my feelings inside for so long, not long ago I went off bad to my mother.

Here are a few things I said.

“Well maybe I need to find them new grandparents that don’t bitch at them all the time”

That was said because that’s how I feel when I go to her house. I do not feel welcomed there at all. My 3 kids are treated different then any others.

I just don’t know how long I can keep what I think inside. Yes, I know it does hurt, but it’s time to spill the beans. I mean we’re all adults here. I know when I tell my true feelings there is always blackmail or “I don’t wanna talk to you”. But I will feel so much better when these things are off my cheat. There is so much more that I want to say. Sooner or later it will come out.

I hate having carpet, well sometimes. I’ve asked the landlord if she could put tiles in the back of the apt because it’s cheap thin carpet and it stains easy. The reason why I don’t like carpet because my kids like to spill things all the time. I keep trying to teach them you don’t eat or drink anywhere besides the kitchen and MAYBE the living room. The front of my apt has no carpet. I would be nice if it was all that way.